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Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Feminism and "Slut Shaming"

I personally am sick and tired of the pathetic feminist agenda that I am constantly being bombarded with on a daily basis. Gender equality in leadership was an issue that was under discussion on SAFM last night. The standard line is that girls should be given an opportunity to have leadership roles. This means actively overlooking men for such roles and placing women therein instead. Now this will get me many feminist haters but this is an utterly pathetic way of looking at things.
Why the hell should we force gender equality on everything? The whole point of pushing the feminist agenda in  the 50's was to gain equality for women - this we now have. I can vote, I can drive, I can study what and where I want, I can play whatever sports I want, wear what I want, come and go as I please, choose to keep my name after marriage, choose not to marry at all etc etc etc. Women now have exactly the same rights that men do. Pushing a "gender equality" agenda on us daily is less feminist than Jonny Bravo. By people advocating that certain positions should be made available solely to women or forcing an "equal" representation in every single aspect of daily life is the same on the sexist scale as BEE is on the racist scale - you are saying that women are not capable of getting to those places or achieving this kind of success on their own.
Why are feminists so damn insistent on pushing women into areas in which we do not belong? Why is the agenda always "women v men"? Why are men soldiers and fighters? Because they have the strength and physical attributes to do it. It became tradition (and naturally logical) that women stay home while men go to war because women were needed to help create and raise the next generation who would again go out and defend the town. It has nothing with "holding women back". Why are men usually judges and captains of industry? Because on average men are more logical and less inclined to be swayed by emotions than women - is that not what we want from our judges and business leaders? 
Why are male graduates paid more than female graduates? Its quite simple - male graduates/employees start a position that they can remain in for decades to come. What they will be taught, the skills they gain and the money spent on training them will be used to give companies value. Female graduates/employees are likely to go and get married and then start having children, and 90% of the time after the children arrive she starts looking for a less stressful job or even stops working altogether. This in turn means that the female graduate/employee ends up being a liability to the company. As an employer I understand this concept and am hesitant to spend money training a woman who is likely to get up and leave after a few years and I have no return on my money.
Why are women excluded from leadership positions? Well lets think about that for a second shall we? Do women display the determination, drive, skill, character, steadfast dedication that male leaders do on average? NO! Women become emotional. They hold grudges, take cheap shots and change their minds more often than they change their underwear - in everything except wanting to exclude men from everything.
Feminists push for women to be employed before men, to earn higher salaries (despite very seldom being the type of asset men are), to occupy high leadership positions. But the question none of these feminists can ever answer is "do women deserve it?" Do women deserve to be treated the same as men? And if a feminist answers "yes, I do deserve it" then why are they complaining and pushing so hard? If they are able to achieve what they have on MERIT then why do they need an agenda promoting "women's rights"?
As far as I am concerned the only rights that women should have that differ from those that men have is to be allowed to use menstrual cramps as a valid excuse to eat chocolate. Men do not skip work when they have a headache or cramps or are feeling depressed. Men do not expect 4 months off of work when they have children and to still be paid for that time off (medically necessary leave - 6 weeks - is distinguished from traditional maternity leave of 4 months). Men do not have the luxury of behaving in a manner which shows them to be a person of immoral values and then complaining when people treat them that way. And this brings me to my pet peeve for the day: feminists bitching about "slut shaming".
Its been in the news quite a bit in recent weeks this concept of "slut shaming."
According to Wikipedia Slut shaming (also hyphenated, as slut-shaming) is defined as the act of making a woman feel guilty or inferior for engaging in certain sexual behaviours that deviate from traditional gender expectations.
It is also used as a form of victim blaming for rape and sexual assault, such as claiming the crime was caused (either in part or in full) due the woman wearing revealing clothing or previously acting in a forward, sexual manner before not consenting to sex.
Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog has an entire FAQ  devoted to this concept of "slut shaming". The focus is naturally on the "double standard" of men being allowed to have several sexual partners or express themselves sexually without being judged by society whereas as soon as woman displays the same characteristics she is labelled a "slut". It will always boil down to women being "oppressed" by men and that this is simply one of the tools used to do that.
Now, before I go any further on this issue I have to state that I do not in any way condone rape or sexual assault at all. No man or woman has any right to violate the body of another and it is unforgivable when it happens. But having said that, women need to understand that how we behave influences how people treat us, especially men. In an ideal world women would be able to walk down a street in the middle of the night naked as the day they were born while being mindlessly drunk (another issue all of its own - women getting mindlessly drunk) and never fear that they will be molested. The reality is that we do NOT live in an ideal world.
If you walk around in a tiny skirt, with a thong or without underwear, in a skin tight shirt that barely covers the vital areas of your breasts you are doing so to draw attention. Any woman that says she dresses like a hooker for herself is lying - you dress that way because you are looking for validation. And the only way you can have the kind of validation you are looking for is by receiving sexual attention from the people around you. There is no other type of attention you are looking for regardless of what you say. The same goes for posting pictures of yourself in skimpy bikinis or underwear, of you engaged in any kind of sexual behaviour etc online. You want sexual attention.
And now here comes the problem: many of these women and girls react negatively and with anger when the receive exactly the kind of attention they were looking for! When men repeatedly try to get you to go home with them or constantly make sexual innuendos you get upset. When you have been dancing and grinding up against a man while barely dressed or flirting shamelessly with him you suddenly become filled with righteous rage the second he touches you? This is the behaviour that causes all kinds of problems. 
Am I saying that you should not dress up or look sexy? No, of course not. Am I saying that you should be mindful of how your appearance and actions make you appear? Hell yes! If you behave like a tramp and you look like a tramp you will be treated like one. The old saying of "if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, walks like a duck and swims like a duck then it must be a duck" is most apt. If you dress like a slut, behave like a slut, call yourself a slut then the overriding perception is that you must be a slut. You know this and so do the men out there. You have no right to complain when you are treated like one.
One of the biggest problems with this kind of mindset - where women expect to behave and dress in a way that is seen as immoral but then expect the men they meet to want them for their mind and/or personality - is caused by  feminists teaching children that women can do what they want, when they want and that they should stick it to men wherever possible and should never expect there to be any consequences.
When little girls were raised to be ladies, to dress modestly, to not engage in immoral sexual behaviour with all and sundry and to not broadcast it if they did men - had more respect for women. There was less rape and sexual assault. Girls who flaunted their bodies or sexuality were never the girls who achieved anything of note. Your reputation stays with you. First impressions of you as "easy", "available" and "sexually immoral" stay with you. They will affect the rest of your life. It will affect job prospects and may even get you fired. Professional companies do not want to employ women who do not give off the aura of being professional and discreet.
I hear the call "real men don't rape" repeatedly. Well real women do not give up their self respect! How can you expect men to not see you as a sexual object and to want more when you repeatedly show it off and behave as though you are willing to give it away? It is this entire culture of the feminist agenda that has stopped young boys from becoming men. You teach little boys that they oppress women, you teach young girls that men are not human and do not deserve to be treated with respect. How then do you expect them to interact when they grow up? This culture is to blame for a million and one societal ills that I could write a new post every day for 6 months and not cover the same topic twice.  
Is there a double standard? Yes there is. Should there be? No, of course not. But instead of teaching young girls and women that it is OK to appear as sexually available and to engage in risky sexual behaviour because men do it, we as a society should instead be teaching young boys the opposite. Why is it so important to you that you can do everything men can do? That you are willing to give up your femininity to show that you are just like men? To remove your identity as a women just to remove a man's identity as a man? The longer you try to blur gender lines in this way the worse things will get. Men are by nature driven by sex - its an animal instinct in them all. Women are nurturers - its instinctual too. 
It is time for feminists to accept that men and women are different in more ways than just physically and that those differences are not weaknesses or strengths but are rather complimentary. Men and women have always been equal - you simply fail to understand that equality is not always having everything the other has. What I have achieved I have done so without feeling that I deserve it. I was appointed on merit. I put in my hours and my weekends too just like my male colleagues. I did not complain that I have had to work with and around mainly men my entire career and that I have been met with some difficulty - mostly due to my age and NOT my gender. I have proved to my clients and colleagues that I deserve to be here. That I deserve the top spot and that I deserve the time and effort they have put into training me. If I can do it and a million other women can do it without looking for the handout why can feminists not just put their heads down and get the work done too?
Do we have the right to dress and behave the way we want? Of course. But by the same token understand that everyone else has the same right to judge you on that behaviour and to label you accordingly. By placing yourself in dangerous situations you should be aware that you could be in danger and when that danger materialises be prepared to admit that you could have done something differently which may have affected the outcome.
I am therefore fully in support of "slut shaming". If it makes a young girl or woman realise that her behaviour is potentially harmful to herself and/or her reputation then why not? But I repeat - I do NOT condone rape or sexual assault. That doesn't mean that there are not steps that we can take to prevent it happening - and part of that is taking respect in our own bodies and not dressing like prostitutes! And that is my rant for the day!

8 comments:

  1. Havent heard this much sense being spoken in a very long time ...
    Thank you!

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    1. Thank you. I have been wanting to write this for ages now - just took this latest issue to push me over the edged.

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    2. America, where you have to watch what you wear, where you walk, and try not to look attractive or you'll be raped. prob. vote republican too.

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    3. Ryan I assume you are an idiot liberal too huh? Rape is 99% of the time not about lust - its power. And just so you know, a woman wearing a barely there skirt and no underwear walking alone late at night while drunk is a soft target - she is not alert, she gives him easy access and she is pretty much doing everything she can to put herself in harm's way.

      To take the responsibility out of rape when there is a degree of "fault" on the woman is like taking the responsibility out of driving drunk and causing an accident. All actions have consequences and to make men responsible for all the ills and leaving women blameless makes it ok to behave in a dangerous way. Its people with your thought patterns that make it ok for women to think they can behave anyway they want and still be respected. I don't respect a man that rapes a woman - why in the world do you expect me to respect a woman that has no respect for herself or her safety?

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  2. You are passionate but grossly misinformed. And I'm a heterosexual male

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    1. And you make assertions that I am grossly misinformed and yet make no effort to argue any of my points.

      And I kinda think that I have a better understanding of this than you do - what with me having a vagina and all and actually EXPERIENCING it.

      You have been brainwashed by the liberal feminist agenda and I pity you.

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  3. Way to go, Girl!

    I applaud both your your post about feminism & slut shaming and your response to those stupid PC Twitts.

    Well done.

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    1. Thank you Andreas. Sometimes you have to stop treating people with kid gloves and tell them where to get off.

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